14th war update featuring two video interviews

Sipur-Hikaya (Hebrew and Arabic for ‘Story’) 

Established in 2017, the Sipur-Hikaya initiative teaches the two sides of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict based on the  book ‘Side by Side – Parallel Histories of Israel-Palestine’’. The dual narrative approach is studied in pre-military preparatory courses, schools and universities.  The goal begins with the understanding that to begin the process of reconciliation it is necessary to recognise the other and a condition for recognising the other is to know the other. 

Hamze Awada will be speaking at a Sipur-Hikaya  Zoom meeting (in English) on Wednesday, February 7, 2024, at 18.30 UK time – you can register for a free invitation to the meeting using the link below this orange box.

Hamze was born in Dura, near Hebron. While studying at Bir Zeit University, he began working for peace and reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians. In recent years he was the Palestinian coordinator of Hands of Peace and with the Israeli coordinator, organized Israeli-Palestinian-American youth groups for youth camps in the United States.

Since the 7th October Hamze has intensified his activity in presenting the Palestinian side’s activism for peace, in a large number of meetings in Europe, in Zoom meetings, and in joint interviews with Israeli activists for the International television networks.

Hamze Awade met Magen Maoz in London in December at a Humanity Not Hatred a vigil, which was held for people of all faiths and none.  Magen and Hamze are both bereaved and came together without flags or slogans to share their pain after the horrific Hamas massacre and the subsequent Gaza war.  After meeting at the vigil, they stayed in touch, became friends, and are hoping to bridge a near-impossible divide.  Christiane Amanpour invited them onto her CNN programme – you can watch their interview in the video below:  

Sipura-Hikaya is in our directory  has their own website.  There are details of how you can donate to help support their work on this page of their website.  You can join their free Zoom meeting using this form.

Givat Haviva

Givat Haviva is a civil society organization for social change striving to create a model society in Israel, emphasizing the importance of a Jewish and Arab shared society.  Givat Haviva works to promote a prosperous, democratic society for all citizens of Israel, one that strives for peace with its neighbours and the solidarity of all peoples.  Their activity focuses on the fields of education including the Givat Haviva International School, language instruction, culture, and art. 

Givat Haviva’s Chief Executive Officer, Michal Sella, and the Director of Planning, Equality and Shared Society, Mohammad Darawshe, were both interviewed by Fathom Deputy Editor, Jack Omer-Jackaman.  Amongst other issues, they discussed the management of the on-going crises and what will happen to their work when the war ends.  You can watch the video by clicking below:

Givat Haviva is in our directory  has their own website.  There are details of how you can donate to help support their work on this page of their website.  

Alliance for Middle East Peace (ALLMEP)

ALLMEP is a coalition of over 160 organizations—and tens of thousands of Palestinians and Israelis—building people-to-people cooperation, co-resistance, equality, justice, shared society, mutual understanding, and peace among their communities.

Avi Mayerstein, the founder and president of ALLMEP has provided some basic tools for having more successful conversations on Israeli-Palestinian issues.  

Open with what you share: a common purpose.
Start by asking about them. A natural starting point is shared pain, a shared struggle to absorb the situation, and a shared desire to be able to support each other. “How are you doing with all this stuff going on in the Middle East?  Do you have any personal connections there? Is everyone you know alright? I know it can be sensitive, but I’m concerned about how everyone is handling this and just wanted to ask how you’re doing.”

When they respond, be empathetic and compassionate: “Wow. I hear you. I’m so sorry to hear how this is affecting you” Usually, you’ll get asked the same in return and can share your own answer to those questions. You may find that it’s safest to start with feelings, not opinions. No one can argue with feelings.  

Talking about the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict?
Find the right time and place.   Make sure you have at least a few minutes to listen. This is not a small issue. Speaking face-to-face (even if only on video), and somewhere without lots of noise and distractions, is usually best so you can read (and successfully convey) emotion and body language.

At all times, maintain respect and calm.  No name-calling. No interrupting. Take a deep breath if you feel your blood pressure rising. Speak calmly, even softly. Watch your tone and your body language. Try to relax your posture. Folding your arms or putting your hands on your hips may send the wrong signals.

If it becomes too heated, everyone should know that it’s alright to pause the conversation for another time (or never). You may have any number of excuses to break it off. But if you’re feeling especially honest, you could try: “I’m sorry. I really appreciate talking with you about this, but I’m really feeling overwhelmed right now. Could we maybe pick this up another time?”

Make your goal to listen and learn
The point is not to make a point. It’s simply to have a successful conversation, where you walk away on good terms and understand and support each other better. It’s not to argue or prove anything to anyone (other than what a good, compassionate listener you are). Pretend you’re interviewing them about their feelings and experience. Ask questions. Listen more than you speak.

Really try to understand: Why do they think or feel as they do? Listen actively rather than waiting to pounce with a zinger. Resist the temptation to keep thinking about your next retort or argument. Instead, think about your next question. Even when you get into the land of opinions, be willing to admit you don’t know it all. 

Be humble
Admit when you don’t know something. It not only keeps the conversation more factual and human, but it also shows some vulnerability, which will make the other person feel more comfortable.  Be graceful. Be generous.

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume that they have the best intentions even if the words don’t come out perfectly. Don’t try to twist their words or take offense. Don’t take it personally, and don’t make it personal. Remember your shared purpose; you’re not there to judge what kind of person they are. If you find yourself thinking like an attorney, cross-examining a witness, take a step back in your mind and a deep breath to avoid heading down the wrong path.

Acknowledge them
As you listen, show it by nodding your head or acknowledging what they’re saying. Even if you don’t agree, you can say, “I hear what you’re saying.” If they are describing something painful, hurtful, or scary, definitely respond with “I’m really sorry” or “that sounds so painful/scary.”

Look for, and point out, areas of common ground.  Where you do agree?  Lean in. Try to find opportunities, even small ones, to say “for sure,” “totally,” or “I see what you mean.” Even if you don’t agree with their final conclusions, you can say, “I understand where you’re coming from and how you got there” Maybe you can point out that you share the same goals, like peace and security for all people, even if you don’t agree on the history of the conflict or how to solve it.

Know when to end it
End on a point of agreement, even if you’re agreeing to disagree about many things and mostly circling back on your shared purpose. Remind them that you care about them in this moment and appreciate understanding better what they’re going through, how they feel, and/or what they think. Express gratitude: “So many people are having trouble even talking about this. I really appreciate that we were able to have this conversation.”

For more information about the thousands of Israeli and Palestinian peacebuilders who do this every day, please visit www.allmep.org

The Alliance for Middle East Peace is in our directory, has their own website   There are details on this page of their website which show how you can donate to help support their work.